Breaking Lost Love

Breaking

There we stood firmly hand in hand forever

until we realized our embrace was strangulation

hand in bloody hand we kept on falling together

never giving up as we decayed to separation

.

for I was the stonewall and you were the wind

beating me slowly but ever surely down to dust

though we had fought hard to be together again

we fought harder to watch our stainless hearts rust

.

so I’m sure you remember; I just can’t forget

the way our life once used to be

now we never talk and I’ve come to fret

when you curse out a name it’s me

Lost

rain beat down and this heart poured forth

the darkest of woes that haunted my head

trickling trepidation ’till I lost my North

giving into the vices that I’ve come to dread

.

all alone I came to love the cold and the silence

I wanted the blackest sky to match my soul

it grew into a monster of self-loathing and violence

a beast from the depths I just couldn’t control

.

so I betrayed my brain and my body

splitting and splicing every cell for it’s worth

with lines of scars painted on skin so shoddy

you could almost make out every tear, every word

Love

I’ve come to realize that all wounds must bleed

for better or for worse there are days to cry all night

I now understand there is nothing that I need

more than a beautiful soul to make these wrongs right

.

so I found a flame like nothing here on Earth

a star amongst the void of time and space itself

the brightest in the sky for which I have searched

a gorgeous golden heart of unimaginable wealth

.

and I see the universe deep in her eyes

the same ones I dream of before I fall to slumber

the ones that give me endless butterflies

thinking of her beauty as I wish and I wonder

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The Egyptian Skyline

There grew dark days indeed, deviously conceived

from devilish and dreadful heads

playing piper in this picturesque painting of ruin

till their palms grew cold and dead

forged from charcoal I saw their gnarled souls

wrapping blackened and broken-down hearts

bloodletting vice as if the blade of this knife

brutalized their bodies for beauty and parts

so I dream every night of this terrible fight

against axes and swords and scythes

slicing finger tips and lives, each ready to die

when pens and points come to collect and write

and I looked in your eyes with my smiles and cries

senselessly spilling great fury upon this land

touching The Edge into flesh at the left of your chest

as your bones became not but dust and sand

_____________

the doomed look of demise I’ve tried and I’ve tried

to forget but I remember the horror so well

it’s the terror received from this steel as you’ve been

the lead role in this tragic, old tale that I tell

except you didn’t stop when your hands got caught

by a quicker man’s strike with the tip of his knife

and watching them drop it was victory we sought

kissing throats with the purpose to snuff out a light

~Never Break the Heart of a Murderous Bastard~

Rock Bottom

Emptiness stole my soul from me

and drank every drop of forsaken blood

watching my heart tear in half and pieces

from more than just broken, unholy love

this laborious lifetime of long, lost regrets

sold my happiness just as a blasphemous traitor

like the feeling of swallowing shards of glass

only to vomit each and every razor later

__________

so when reality came crashing on down

I drank for forty days and forty nights all alone

I never wanted to stop as I desperately tried to drown

myself with anything as my heart turned to stone

now I’d like to promise when I smile it’s true

but the lie in bent lips is like the calm of the ocean

beneath placid surfaces the raging tide is a brute

swallowing up the land in a single, fluid motion

and I’d love to tell you life was mine for the taking

but instead It took me and twisted my mind

kept everything I’d ever care for away from me

cut off my limbs and made my heart blind

now sitting in the quiet of cold winter nights

waiting to test my rope; going toe to toe with fate

I realize this whole time I’ve never seen the light

just the glow my world burning down would create

__________________________________

so please don’t cry for me Angel

we never had a chance when I fell

my heart was throttled and strangled

the day Kharon took my soul to Hell

Sic Itur Ad Astra

I felt the gentle heartbeat of apathy

Blanket this world and steal its color.

The cold embrace of cardiac atrophy

Left synapses snapping in horror and wonder.

And lines once walked now faded with time

Caused us to jump rails and barrel tracks;

And I swear to God that before we were fine

Now a freight of anxiety when this panic attacks.

So believe me when I whisper

This is the calm before the fall;

Like playing a tune that’s utterly note-less.

I was nauseous, vomiting, and sick of it all…

Forever 27

It all started off as some bad joke

Till the blood began pouring in my lungs

These eyes full of fear as I gurgled and choked

My soul full of happiness as my last stanza’s spoke

The long song is over

…..

This heart hard as steel screamed as you tried

To hammer past the walls it had built in time

As the sound overtook me I let out a cry

I’ve been waiting so long just to finally die

Down the road we go

…..

I was lost at sea without love for anyone

Spending waking moments trying to forget

Carving this flesh for pain and for fun

Now loneliness is a feeling I’ve come to resent

Standing here on The Edge

…..

Slowly I fell in deep love with Death

Giving her tulips and my secrets at night

Her kiss was the one that stole away my breath

She took me in her bosom and robbed me of life

I’m dying to marry Her

…..

So I dragged my fag with casual grip.

The smell of gasoline thick in my nose

I began to burn as I cursed and I spit

Bringing this tale to a slow, charred close

27 forever and ever and ever…..

Stuck and Stoned

Every time I looked down I saw blood

Mine own, someone else’s

this must be how we’ve come to show love

through self-hatred and degradation

.

then I saw The Storm on the horizon

fierce wind and wondrous, electric fingers

I didn’t say anything to anyone

for I was fully loaded, cocked, and hair-triggered

.

I red-lined my heart with memories

everything, everyone I could never let go of and more

tasted the crimson your left hook drew

sending love with a right that holds a harder four

.

so when I talk of battles know they were long

too savage to ever escape my tongue

silent like a soldier who has seen too much

all while dying fast and living young…

 

The Boy With Broken Hearts

 

I wish everything had gone differently

but no one made it here in time

like the night I wish I had actually drowned

instead of treading water and swallowing more 

and even as I watched the boat pulling away

I wanted those lights to disappear

“Don’t fucking come back.” I whispered

too bad they didn’t hear…

.

So I dropped 4 gears and my transmission

smoking these tires down to the glowing rim

from a light red enough to match this crimson

crying so profusely I’m sure I haven’t stopped

and I realized as I almost kissed the concrete 

in pure and just apathy

my world is one of emptiness and despair

too bad I never told anyone…

.

I opened the first of many “last bottles”

wrote a note to someone who doesn’t care

stained more tobacco on my fingers

and felt my cardiac muscle skipping beats

but as these unsure hands poured another glass

I wished I’d chosen a different means of death

something quicker than numbness and stupor

too bad no one ever understood…

.

Then I kept on studying the poems I carved

wondering if this art was worth the cost

pondering what I’ll tell my children

or theirs, or anyone, anywhere, ever at all

so I’ve been going to exhibitions

reading between lines like a savant

falling in love with imminent death

too bad it’s unrequited at heart…

 

Avtomat Kalishnikova: Model of 1947

There are things you never forget

the taste of blood on your tongue

the feel of hot metal in your wound

and the time it took to recover…

……..

spitting echoes out in the distance

the crack of emptying gun magazines

belt-fed, armor-piercing death blooms

planting their molten seeds

budding the end of a world

for some (un)known son or daughter

somewhere, someway, everyday for anyone

the prosperous harvest to this slaughter

……..

so I ripped my cloves till they glowed

these cold irons sighted, I felt like a fiend

with smoking chambers and vacant shells

the whole nine yards, gone like a dream

II

There are people you can’t forget

or the taste of her lips on yours

the beat of your heart in her hand

and the years it took to (n)ever remember…

……

I felt the impact of lead into earth

the loveless thud of slugs into dirt

the pain and the glory from incendiary birth

and the liters of crimson to measure our worth

so I choked up and turned at ten paces

no end in sight, I felt my trigger slip

gunslinging curses and spewing out .50s

jacking round after round into clip after clip

…….

hard I pulled the bolt action back

hearing it click over the sound of you scream

I’ve come here to do The Devils work

the whole nine yards, gone like a dream

The Girl With Busted Knuckles

Once there were no more stars in the sky
Seeped in pitch black when its innocence died
Except for the one who kept burning bright
In the ruby hues of warmth bestowing us light
I never have hoped but I hoped for this

Once this land was burnt, barren, and dry
Scorched from mistakes and believing sad lies
But the red sky in mourning who tried not to cry
Bloomed the land with roses he gave her that night
I never have prayed but I prayed for this

Once this lone wolf was wounded and lost
His battles in life carried the heaviest cost
But her howl was worth the bite of the frost
And her crimson eyes worth braving her claws
I never have believed but I believed in this

Once their paths crossed it surely inspired
Not perfect but a passion grew in their fires
And loyal to the end they always build higher
The life and the future to which they aspire
I never have loved like I love you…

See You, Space Cowboy…

I was alone

And alone I remain

Drinking tears and fears

Never getting easier to swallow

gagging there way down

and so I coughed and choked

Waiting to vomit my guts

Wanting to give in to despair

Waiting to give in and give up…

.

I wished there was acid in my veins

I was breathing smoke and fire

I needed to love despair and loathing

The only thing to which I’ve aspired

And so I keep scratching at scabs

Hoping that they will never heal

Picking no battles and winning no wars

‘Till there was nothing that I could feel

.

I stayed patiently on the shore

Watching the tide slowly rolling in

The waves crashing in harmony

I was ready to face my sins

So I stayed steady and strong

Swallowing up the salty surf

I’m here to sing my song

Deep in the sea or under the earth

Aegean Iris

A long time ago I had given up on hope

Blazing many bridges just to die all alone

Crying every tear as I slowly turned to stone

A soul lost out at sea with nowhere to go


But there came a single star in my sky

Like the heavens knew I needed a why

to not let my flame burn out and gently die

A reason to believe there’s more to this life 


I wanted to gaze into in Her eyes forever

Their calm ocean color as we sat together

And they stirred something like changes in weather 

The feeling deep down that everything will be better 


Back from hell and darkness I tell no lies

And there’s more to be said of my smiles than cries

So I won’t deny when I look in your eyes

I can’t help but listen to these sweet butterflies…


Frost’s Bite

You feel it setting in like a curse

the relentless winds gnawing at your limbs

with black appendages and stiffened joints

their freezing teeth sinking in as you cringe

you’re never going to see home

.

shivering, shaking and whispering your last

praying and pushing onward through the drifts

the elements pouring heavy down upon you

as the Nor’Easter came in and its wrath was swift

you’ll never make it home

.

you feel your breath slowly fading

finally crashing in a lonely bank of snow and sleet

icicles for fingers and a jack of all frost

as your heartbeat steadily grows more and more weak

you never saw home…

Shovelhead

You dream of nothing but freedom

riding your V-twin into the desert night

not caring if you live or die

on a rocket blazing a path

toward an asphalt grave

but the air is cool and calm

and you can’t help but remember

the way things were before

life flashes before tired eyes

and you want to cry but can’t, ever

shifting gears to keep speeding

on this war-path for hope

the hope you haven’t had in years

and yet you still ride onward

with twilight gently ascending

slowly breathing it in

passing cacti and craggy mountains

wondering what the day holds

or if it holds anything at all

then the sun finally breaks

pouring over the mighty peaks

and despite deep despair

you find peace and freedom here

~Old Nomad~